Ever wondered why and how men who radiate self confidence always seem to end up with the girl? Instead of wondering, or wishing you had self esteem where dating women is concerned, take a cue from this article –
“Confidence – if you have it, nothing else matters. If you don’t, nothing else matters.
But how does a normal person with the normal number of self-doubts, life failures, and inadequacies date in a way that radiates self-confidence?
Dr. Stuart Fischer shares his thoughts… Self-confidence is the feeling that you can accomplish something that might be challenging or impossible for others.
It is based on prior successes, but it also comes from overcoming occasional setbacks.
In fact, learning from negative experiences is a useful tool that enhances rather than weakens self-confidence.
Think of all the times a baseball star doesn’t hit a home run, an operatic tenor can’t hit a high note, or an actor stars in a mediocre movie.
They don’t give up, they merely try again.
The legendary humanistic psychologist Dr. Stanley Krippner makes an important distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. “Self-esteem reflects what you think and feel about yourself. It is more open to self-deception because it might be based on inflated personal myths rather than actual experiences.
Self-confidence reflects what you think and feel about your abilities.” It’s a waste of time to figure out why your self-confidence may be imperfect. It’s time well-spent to work on improving this crucial quality.
When you go on a date, especially for the first time with someone new, self-confidence will be as important a part of a “first impression” as what you are wearing.
With that in mind, here are some ways to radiate self-confidence, so that your date feels that he or she is also very special.
1) Learn how to walk with self-confidence. In the weeks or days prior to your date, spend some time watching people walk down the street. Who among them would make a good role model for you?
A successful, well-dressed businessman?
An athletic-appearing person strolling rather than jogging? Pick someone out, stay about 20-feet behind them, and try to copy their walk. Notice the posture, stride, fluidity of motion-and try to copy it.
After a while, turn around and wait for another seemingly self-confident individual, then mimic their walk as well. You may find that you are thinking more positively as well, since improved physicality can often improve our emotions.
When you meet your date, this is the way you should walk, especially when greeting them for the first time.
2) Remind yourself of tasks that you have mastered, using these as a springboard for self-confidence in new surroundings. “I was able to give a speech in class last week, so talking with someone attractive will be much easier and enjoyable.” “I’m a creative graphic designer, a unique talent, and I need to radiate the same confidence in an intimate social setting.”
3) Speak less than usual; let your body language (sitting “tall”, maintaining eye-contact, smiling) be evidence of self-confidence, not any self-serving statements.
4) All of the components of image need to be attended to (hair, skincare, clothing etc..) but none should detract from your projection of self-confidence.
Truly self-confident people will, in fact, turn the conversation around so that the other individual is in the spotlight-a highly flattering and charming way of impressing your date. Simply put: whatever your strengths, focus on someone else, a nice of way of saying “I’m not the center of attention, you are.” This is quite easy for self-confident people and is an interpersonal skill that yields excellent results. “
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Self Confidence 101: Loving Yourself & Having A Positive Attitude
Dating and self confidence go handin-hand, one cannot be without the other.
Don’t beat yourself up if you lack self confidence dating women. It’s a process you have to learn and master. All great endeavors come with a price, and that price is practice.
At the end of the day, you want to attract the type of woman who mirrors your inner-most beliefs, the one you will be proud to call a girlfriend and perhaps one day, even introduce her to your mom.
Take time to build your self confidence, don’t rush it, don’t be frustrated, make each day count towards your goal of approaching women without your heart pounding out of your chest or having a dry mouth out of nervous tension!
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